This morning I looked in the mirror
and said to myself, "Listen here -
your jawline is sagging
your eyelids are bagging
your face needs some help now, it's clear."
Maybe I'll get some more Botox,
hey, sometimes it turns back the clocks,
it freezes my lines
helps with facial designs
But I ain't gonna look like a fox
Or maybe I'll head to Sephora,
(disguised by a velvet fedora)
Buy some shit that smells good
'cause it's just understood
When it comes to their stuff, I'm a whore-a
Makeup, eyeshadow and liner!
It all makes me look so much finer
hoist up my tits,
spackle my zits,
and I'll quit acting like such a whiner
The gay makeup artist has found me
the salesladies start to surround me
Oh my god, it's on sale!
Fill up my pail!
Before the cashiers start to hound me
As I headed out after my trip
I looked at my credit card slip
I said "What the fuck?
I've spent my last buck!
For eye gel and blush -- what a rip!"
So my divas, I gotta admit
I'm getting real tired of this shit
Maybe instead
wear a bag on my head
The fountain of youth? Girl, I quit.
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1 comment:
You do slay me. In the words of Miss Piggy, "Bags under your eyes? Fold and put away in pantry."
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